there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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