I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
