the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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