And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
