a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
