That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
