Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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