Betty ford says i'm here all night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
