He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
