And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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