Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She's JV to your varsity
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
