youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
