Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
