hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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