I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
