I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
