this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
