Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
