I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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