I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
