lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
