brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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