I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Your tits are I can't wait for
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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