wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
