i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I just put wine in my tea
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
