thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
