She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
