I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think i have two assholes
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
