She's JV to your varsity
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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