Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
