Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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