Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
