then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
