Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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