Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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