Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
