I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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