just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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