he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
