after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
