Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
