i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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