dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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