can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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