think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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