porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
