Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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