I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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