Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
