Apparently you make a good broom.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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