I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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