I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Bring me that man meat
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Panties = found
Randomize
