As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
