gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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